Gangsters merge with high street drug retailer to create ‘Bovver Boots’

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In a move that has raised eyebrows amongst City Traders and Analysts today, East London firm, the Bovver Boys, has bought a significant stake in Boots, the high street pharmacy chain. Bovver Boots will be listed on the FTSE 100 as soon as the current round of bribing stock exchange operators is complete.

Twins, Johnny and Jimmy McIntyre, who formed Bovver Boys, back in 2005, are said to be absolutely delighted with the deal. In a reference to a legal loophole that forces the NHS to pay exorbitant prices for drugs, one of the twins made his feelings known.

‘Three thousand per cent profit on a medical mouth wash,, exclaimed Johnny. ‘We can’t get that kind of mark up on the street for coke or crack. We realised weve been in the wrong drugs game for years.’

A Spokesman for Boots was similarly enthused, seeing the potential to protect ballooning revenues, deflecting any obstruction from the Competition and Markets Authority. (CMA).

“Any complainants will be politely advised that there is no painkiller, on the market, powerful enough to relieve knee capping injuries…If there was, we`d probably make four thousand per cent on it,” laughed Jimmy.

Currently, the twins are head hunting potential applicants to run the day to day operations of Bovver Boots. ‘It’s what we normally do anyway. Only with a slight twist,' said Johnny. 'Last time we head hunted a guy, we decapitated him...Er dont print that,’ he added.

 

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Posted: Jun 3rd, 2018 by

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