Boris proposes post-Brexit self-delivering aerial pork system

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Foreign secretary Boris Johnson has proposed a new post-Brexit export scheme. ‘Currently, erm, gosh, pork products are delivered using a complicated system of lorries, trains and ferries,’ said the unkempt white-haired serial shagger. ‘I’m confident that good old British know-how will introduce a new breed of hog with a delivery system that entirely works in the air.’

Mr Johnson said the idea came to him during a long and dull cabinet committee meeting, where the Transport Secretary was raising the threat of 25-mile lorry queues on the M20 post-Brexit. ‘Someone – I think it was one of those closet Remainers – said something about aerial pork delivery happening before the rest of us saw sense and I thought ‘Bingo! That’s just the ticket’. Good old Bojo strikes again.’

‘Now, lunchtime. Spot of gammon, anyone?’

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Posted: Jun 4th, 2018 by

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