Residents on the mean streets of the Isle of Wight are bracing themselves for a massive increase in the number of mildly annoying incidents after Detective Sergeant Charles Potter took early retirement at the age of 58 last month. [read...]
Michael Gove has responded enthusiastically to the suggestion that Britain will run out of food shortly after Brexit. ‘This is a wonderful opportunity to address one of the greatest health crises of our time,’ said the Environment Secretary or whatever he is at the moment. [read...]
Paul Dacre’s replacement as Daily Mail editor is to genetically engineered super-racist android, it has emerged. Named Adbensi, the android has a state-of-the-art AI software chip based on the collective philosophies of Hitler and Mussolini with just a smidge of Simon Cowell’s control-freakery melded in, [read...]
Jamie Oliver has created an exciting new range of firm World cup snacks that can be enjoyed conveniently while staring open-mouthed at unfolding sporting disaster or genocidal pandemonium in Brazil. [read...]
