Britain breathes a massive sigh as Colour is trooped

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For weeks now tension has been building with the country seemingly paralysed by an almost palpable feeling of tense excitement, foreboding and uncertainty.

But now the shadow has passed and we can all get on with enjoying the remainder of the year as The Colour has, much to the relief of everyone, finally been trooped and Britain can once more go about its business.

Alf Rodgers, an unemployed factory worker from Bethnal Green, cruelly thrown on the scrap heap when his factory was compulsorily purchased for new inner city polo ground and who was in the crowd on The Mall said: ‘This has made my Summer . I ain’t got naffink, me, but I love Britain’s sense of occasion and pageantry.  It’s sammink what sustains me throughout the year, especially when I ain’t got sod all to eat, like now.  Don’t suppose you’d have a spare few quid for a cuppa, mate?’

And the ceremony itself wasn’t without more excitement than usual this year, when sensationally The Colour was snatched momentarily from hands of the Colour Sargent by two youths on a moped.  However catastrophe was averted when approximately 5000 soldiers surrounded the hapless pair and then kicked the living shit out of them, thus securing the Colour’s troopedness for the nation once more.

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Posted: Jun 10th, 2018 by

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