Professional historians have been startled by the recent archaeological discovery that that the British Isles were not only populated prior to their colonisation by the EU, but that the islanders there had discovered fire, the wheel and alcohol, and even had a kind of primitive ‘language’.
‘We do not know if they ever got as far as engaging in trade with other countries,’ said researcher Mademoiselle Fifi leBlanc. ‘But we are amazed to find that they even had an obscure form of writing, and were actually in the process of discovering arithmetic. It is staggering to think that rest of the world had never heard of them!’
‘The only greater unsolved mysteries for us professional historians are why it took so long to discover Australia, and why Canada exists. But what we can agree, is that the UK existed before Brexit – we’re just not sure if it will be around afterwards’.