Gove urges: ‘Cut EU red-tape so we can legalize midget ownership’

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Always putting a positive spin on Brexit,  Michael Gove has insisted that citizens may soon own up to 3 little persons provided they are kept on a leash when in public areas and are registered with the government.  Local businesses are embracing this new law and legalized midget ownership is expected to contribute more than £500 million in small change to the UK economy.

Cutting regulation and height have been Mr. Gove’s primary goals since the Brexit vote was taken. ‘Midget shops are opening everywhere and business is booming’ said the owner of The Little Depot.  ‘We sell midgets and accessories.  People just love buying cute little outfits for their special little one’.

Many local municipalities have now opened leash free parks to accommodate the influx of midget owners.  London is set to open another 15 leash free parks over the course of several months.  ‘These parks are great,’ said the owner of 2 midgets. ‘I love taking my little guys to the park where they can run free and play with others. Maybe they’ll find a special little one to mate with and have a litter. Then we’ll have little midggies’.

Protest rallies have been critical of the UK’s rejection of EU Human rights.  however the government officials however say they have no plans to repeal this new law or make small talk.

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Posted: Jun 12th, 2018 by

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