Male prisoner ‘identifies’ as female after watching lesbian prison porn video

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After being sentenced for burglary, Arthur Mayfield, 23, has asked to be sent to a women’s prison.  He admits that he has never given much thought to LGBT issues until now: ‘apart from staying away from that dodgy ginger who kept smiling at me in the exercise yard the last time I did a stretch’.

‘Like every other criminal, I wanted to go back to the same nick where all my burglar and mugger mates are banged up’, he says.  But then he had a revelation about his sexual identity after watching a DVD called Shaved Lesbian Prison Orgy IV, which he’d stolen from his neighbour’s cell.   ‘It hit me like a thunderbolt’, he says.  ‘I instinctively knew that’s where I belonged – in a shower being soaped by a bunch of nymphomaniac convicts who are too horny to notice that I’m a man’.

Meanwhile, the Home Office said they do not comment on individual cases.  ‘Mr Mayfield’s Damascene conversion to womanhood should be treated with the utmost respect’, remarked Sajid Javid, who identifies as both ‘a serious politician’ and a ‘shaved pussy’.

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Posted: Jun 12th, 2018 by

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