No sooner had Donald Trump built bridges with one dictatorial adversary, up pops another in the shape of musical Mancunian Gary Barlow.
The leader of the Take That empire for more than a quarter of a century, with a fanatical following and professing on numerous occasions to wanting to ‘Rule the World’, Bad Boy Barlow, issued profound apologies for an incident at his Eden Project concert in Cornwall. A cannon fired single-use plastic confetti into the audience drawing worldwide scorn and derision, empowering Trump and Kim to sign a declaration of condemnation against the middle-aged mums’ top 5 guilt-free shag.
At a press conference, a smiling Kim nodded enthusiastically whilst Trump blasted Barlow: ‘He’s waging war against the Corn Wall. We will build our own bigly beautiful Wall of Corn against crazy Cannon Guy.’
Gary’s sincere apologies appear to have had little sway with the new alliance, ‘Sorry don’t cut squat when you’re scattering tiny bits of death on my planet. I heard Gary say during his rally, all he does each night is pray. He’d better pray it takes a whole lot longer than a minute to relight my fire and fury.’ Kim smiled and clapped vigorously.