A delegation of Scottish footballers and fans has staged a protest at what they called their ‘exclusion’ from the World Cup.
‘The rules are quite clearly prejudicial,’ said spokesman Jimmy McCreesh. ‘The way they prioritise being able to play football over getting drunk and fighty, eating something unhealthy and falling asleep in the gutter is plainly intended to disadvantage Scots.’
‘Thash right. An’ comin’ sho shoon after the introduction of minimum pricing for alcohol, ish it any wonder Shcots feel victimished?’ added a sweaty, obese man with deeply veined face, later revealed to be the Scottish team’s Head of Physical Fitness.
It’s thought that as many as five Scots took part in the walkout, though witnesses say when the road went slightly uphill, they got out of breath and decided to share a minicab.