Sky Sports launch new 4D service called ‘Actually-Going-to-the-Match’

it's almost as if you're there

Sky TV bosses have today launched a revolutionary sports coverage service called ‘Actually-Going-to-the-Match’.

‘This is raising the bar of realistic viewing experiences,’ proclaimed Sky boss James Murdoch. ‘Forget 3D and HD – with this new service you’ll think you’re really there. It looks like you’re there; it sounds like you’re there; if you sit too near the toilet it even smells like you’re there. Christ, for an extra three quid you can even eat a disgusting burger and get punched in the face by another fan!’

The service will initially be available on a pay-per-view basis, with viewers buying something called a ‘ticket’ to gain access to a seat in the stands. There are plans in place to bring in an annual subscription payment plan, to be known as a ‘season ticket.’

‘There may be some issues with viewing quality in some cases,’ admitted Murdoch, ‘like if you’re sat behind a pillar or a very tall man in the seat in front who insists on standing up. But this will only be a short-term problem. Next time you go you could pretend you’re disabled and you’ll get a much better view. That’s what I do.’

‘The scope of this is immense, though,’ said Murdoch proudly. ‘This technology can be rolled out for football, rugby, tennis, cricket, maybe even the Olympics. It could work for pretty much any sport, to be honest. The concept of Actually-Going-to-the-Match is massive. Why no-one’s ever thought to do this before is beyond me.’

However, critics have expressed doubts as to whether the idea will catch on, and some viewers are already complaining that the service in their areas is not as good as it could be. Football fan Phill Gayle grumbled: ‘I paid £28 for a ticket to watch the football at the weekend and found myself having to sit through Workington versus Worcester in the Blue Square Conference North. The quality was poor, it finished 0-0, it was freezing cold and my tea tasted like piss. I’m going back to normal telly – Chelsea against Man Utd’s on next weekend.’

Other TV stations are, though, considering making use of the technology themselves. The BBC’s Mark Thompson said: ‘We’re very excited by the possibilities this offers. Imagine being in the audience at a play, going to a music festival or even being in the crowd at a stand-up gig. You could even interact without a red button in sight just by laughing. Whatever will they think of next?’

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Posted: Jun 16th, 2018 by

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