‘To infinity and beyond!’ Trump announces crackdown on alien lifeforms


In a sensational announcement President Donald Trump has given the go-ahead for the development and implementation of an American Space Force, approving funding and maximum resources with immediate effect.

In a rambling and often incoherent address during a White House briefing, he told astonished reporters: ‘My Space Guys, who by the way are the greatest Space Guys in the world, no THE UNIVERSE… FACT… tell me there are lots of green and slimy bug-eyed bad hombres out there in the Cosmos. So the US is going to move fast and blow these aliens to Kingdom Come before they invade and enslave mankind.’

Mr Trump then went on to explain that he had personally enlisted the services of veteran Hollywood star William Shatner along with British Shakespearian actor, Sir Patrick Stewart, to head up his ‘Intergalactic Task Force’.

‘They are great people, continued the President, ‘just the best. Brave men who have boldly gone before and who know the score. They have gotten the better of so many evil aliens in the past, just so many. I’m delighted that they’ve come on-board with this and that as a consequence Earth will be a far safer place under my watch.’

When it was pointed out to Mr Trump by one reporter that he had recently had a Kardashian in The Oval Office and as a consequence did he believe the planet’s safety might have been compromised, a clearly irritated Trump replied: ‘For Chrissakes fella, can’t you guys take this seriously? Come into the real world, will ya? What are you suggesting, that this is Science Fiction! I bet you’re from The BBC!’.

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Posted: Jun 20th, 2018 by

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