Love Island to declare independence


Caroline Flack today announced that she had sent a declaration to the United Nations seeking to have Love Island recognised as an independent nation. She also announced that she would begin office as the island’ first “Love Queen”.

It was announced that mass immigration would begin after independence recognition and any couples that were “fit” could apply to become temporary citizens. She also announced she would be the only person allowed to be over 35 and all other citizens would be “liberated” on their 36th birthday. She would not elaborate on the process of “liberation” but disturbing reports are showing that she has just watched Logan’s Run on Netflix. Miss Flack also announced that there would be no Love King but she would choose an annual consort from the island and then he too would be liberated after a year.

The official new name of the island will be “The Sexy Kingdom of Love Island” and it’s primary export and monetary income would be around a 24 hour TV channel showing a never-ending Love Island type competition filming every Love Island citizen all day every day. Primary imports will be Blue WKD, sun tan lotion, Nando’s and smart phones.

Share this story...

Posted: Jun 24th, 2018 by

Click for more article by ..

© 2021 NewsBiscuit | Powered by Deluxe Corporation | Stories (RSS) | T & C | Privacy | Disclaimer