Divers in Thailand are continuing to explore miles below the surface of a flooded cave system in what’s being called ‘Mission Impossible’ – a long-odds search to locate the final scraps of any of Boris Johnson’s integrity.
‘After finding the school party, we got a little over-confident,’ admitted one rescue worker. ‘We found them after 8 days of searching deep underground and we thought, as we’re on a roll, then why not look for something that’s really tricky to find next.’
The blustering bull-in-a-china-shop’s integrity has been missing for many decades, widely believed by political commentators to have perished when he took membership of the Bullingdon Club during his time at Oxford University. On hearing news of the search Mr Johnson said: ‘Hmm, well to be totally honest if they find even a crumb of it I’d be amazed. But jolly good luck anyway chaps! Hurrah!’
Meanwhile it’s understood the search will be delayed for a few days while engineers first work on a specialised device for scraping the absolute bottom of a barrel.