Birmingham lamp-post conquerer ‘high’ from Magic Beans

Lampost

West Mercia Police are issuing a warning to the public to avoid a new ‘high’ being distributed on the streets of Birmingham, called ‘Magic Beans’.

The warning comes after the recent rescue of a man from atop a 32 foot high lamp-post. The man, ‘Jack’ believed he was ‘climbing a bloody massive beanstalk’ to burgle treasure from a giant’s house at the top. A Police toxicologist added, ‘The ingested ‘Magic Beans’ were a highly psychoactive legume which when combined with an overactive imagination on a pleasant Saturday evening in summer formed a potentially dangerous yet actually comedic cocktail.’

A sober and remorseful ‘Jack’ admitted, ‘I have to thank the emergency services for rescuing me. I realised something was wrong when I ran out of beanstalk and instead of seeing a giant’s castle I just had a better view of the street. I can’t believe my foolishness in eating the beans when the dealer clearly said to scatter them on the ground.’

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Posted: Jul 4th, 2018 by

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