Food and drink products are significantly more satisfying when purchased from a motorway service station than on the high street, a study has revealed. The news will come as a great relief for millions of car drivers, who have, for years, been under the mistaken impression that they were being totally fleeced every time they stepped foot into Birch, Toddington or Leicester Forest East.
‘Customers may have naively thought that our extortionate prices reflected high ground rent charges, the costs of maintaining toilet facilities for the thousands of you who don’t buy a sodding thing, and the expenses associated with leaving a water bowl outside the entrance for dogs’, explained the manager of Hartshead Moor services today.
‘In fact, customers derive considerable extra satisfaction from standing in a queue with hundreds of others waiting for some limp luke-warm fries’, continued the manager. ‘A chance to socialise, share common experiences and then hover awkwardly in the personal space of a family who look like they’re nearly finished at their table. Its all factored into the seven quid charge for a Whopper’.
Prices also reflected the health benefits derived from the laughter produced when faced with a £1.49 charge for a Mars Bar. The relief experienced when managing to retreat unscathed from a pube-soaked urinal in the gents was also thought to be worth an extra pound at least.
When asked whether all these benefits explained the £15 charge for a plastic phone cover at the non-branded concession stand in the entrance, the manager admitted glumly that, no, that was just taking the piss’.