God has reaffirmed his biblical statement that he created the Heavens and the Earth, but says he has “no recollection of making that stetch of East Anglia between Snetterton and the A11 services at Attleborough”.
“I was just browsing Google Earth the other day admiring my handiwork”, he says, “when this place popped up. It’s completely new to me. I know it’s been a long time since the creation, but I could almost swear on the Bible that I never made this. As you know, I disapprove of evolution, so I don’t want anyone suggesting it came into being without my say-so”.
Meanwhile, the Archbishop of Canterbury attributes the confusion to “a cartographical error that will eventually be resolved”, and says the residents of the disputed area “should consider themselves God’s creatures too”. However, some of them appear to disagree. “We’re doing just fine as we are”, says local woman Edith Balthorpe, 63, dropping her voice three octaves and swivelling her head 180 degrees.