Billionaire tech genius and all-round great guy Elon Musk has thanked the Thai Navy SEALS and the worldwide expert diving community for their support following his recent daring rescue of the Wild Boars youth football team. A very private man, it only became apparent Musk was leading the rescue when he inadvertently splodged it all over Instagram and Twitter to his 382 million followers.
Very little is known about Musk due to his crippling modesty, but he did grab headlines recently when he accidentally launched his car into space. “Now that was embarrassing, the police were looking for it for days” he said, “but I’ve definitely redeemed myself in Thailand.”
The news comes on the same day that corporate thought-jizz journal ‘Aspiring Executive’ has suggested that Musk’s Tesla cars are gaining popularity in company car parks across the UK – particularly in the highly competitive ‘young vectoring alphas’ marketing demographic. Serial over-achiever Lee is only 26, works in financial services and already manages an elite team of three responsible for Credit Card marketing to the unemployed in East Anglia. The job itself is hugely rewarding, but Lee also enjoys a full benefits package from his employer which includes a monthly car allowance of “£289 – and that’s excluding VAT yeh”.
Lee feels he identifies very strongly with Tesla founder Elon Musk proudly nodding “We’re both winners yeh? I used to love Audis cos yeh they had those fancy arse LED day running lights yeh that dazzled people and yeh like screamed ‘oi, move over, a champ is behind you yeh?’ – but now every car has them yeh, even my mum’s Motability Honda Jazz.”
Tesla launches its new midsized sporting ‘coupsaloon’ later this year, with the name of the new model being kept a close secret. Tesla has indicated the name will be a fusion of the company founder’s persona with one of his greatest achievements. “I hear it’s called the KnobRocket” exclaims Lee enthusiastically: “that would seal the deal for me yeh!”