Breakfast broadcaster and GMB’s biggest anchor, Piers Morgan, has seized power at ITV Studios and established a new channel called Morgan TV which will broadcast nothing but programmes featuring the puffed-up windbag every evening for ten hours.
In a video loop on the channel’s website, Morgan says tonight’s grand opening schedule (available on Sky on 1543) will consist of his two hard-hitting GMB Donald Trump interviews followed by the entire 2008 series of Celebrity Apprentice USA that he won.
Speaking later to press at a glitzy launch party he said: ‘The nation wants this. They love me and my brand of incisive interviewing. I can get right to the nitty-gritty with everyone. Did you see me aboard Airforce One with Mr Trump on GMB? Wasn’t I just brilliant? Donald was eating out of the palm of my hand. To be honest we’d still be recording more great stuff now only I had to wrap things up. Wow! How great am I?’
‘Every other broadcast and newspaper journalist in the country was gutted that I got the scoop. That’s sad, real sad, but it’s down to my incredible journalistic instinct, along with my amazing willingness to lick Trump’s arse all day long. I’m just so a-bloody-mazing that I can’t believe it myself. You know, if I could somehow manage it, I’d never get anything done as I’d likely be trying to shag myself f*cking stupid all day long.’
When asked for her thoughts on the development, Morgan’s co-host on Good Morning Britain, Susanna Reid, said: ‘He hasn’t shut up about Airforce One all day. It’s just so tedious. But as I said to Charlotte (Hawkins) – Orifice One more like.’