Donald Trump has only given the UK one star on his Trip Advisor review of his recent visit.
He criticised many aspects of this trip, including the food. “When I booked I had expected bed and Brexit,” Trump wrote. “I had wanted a Full English Brexit, but was disappointed to find that the landlady had gone for a more Continental offering”
The weather also faced his online ire. “The Sun put me in a tricky situation,” he said. “They really turned the heat up on me and made things awkward with Landlady May.”
Child care facilities also did not meet with Trump’s exacting demands. “It was awful! They had a baby tethered outside the Houses of Parliament. Mind you it was a very good looking baby. Chunky but well proportioned. Looked like it needed a good wind, though, he was full of air.”
A flight delay on Friday also put a dampener on Trump’s good spirits. ‘Stuck on the runway at Stansted for over an hour after some idiot managed to board our plane and started making a nuisance of himself. Managed to distract him with a few nonsense answers to his questions and thankfully he eventually left. Sad!’
Finally, he said that Landlady May had been “good” but that he couldn’t help thinking that Landlord Boris would have been “the highest level of special.”