Airfix announces it has won contract for Typhoon replacement

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Airfix has won the lucrative contract to provide the next generation of UK fighter planes, it has been revealed.

‘It’ll be pretty neat,’ said Gavin Williamson, aged eight, CEO of Airfix UK and apparently Defence Secretary. ‘We’re working on glueless wing joints and clip together tailplanes. If we can get Rolls Royce on board it’ll probably make a vroooom type of noise too,’ he said speaking from the Airfix stand at Farnborough today, while denying any conflict of interests.

‘I’ve resigned from my non-executive role at superglue and I sold all my shares on modelling paints yonks ago,’ he insisted. The aircraft will be much smaller than most current fighter aircraft, at about one forty-eighth of the size, lighter using modern easily moulded materials and will cost ‘only about £2 billion each, including the box which we recommend you hold onto to preserve market value,’ said Williamson.

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Posted: Jul 18th, 2018 by

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