By forgetting to vote against hard Brexit amendments, Vince Cable has signalled his party’s intention to stay in the EU – provided it does not require any particular effort. Mr. Cable said he would do everything in his power to stop Brexit, unless that meant actually stopping Brexit, then no.
With elaborate games of double bluff, hide ‘n seek and knock down ginger, the Lib Dems will lure the House of Commons into a false sense of security – which will in fact be 100% secure. This will be followed by the ‘third way’ in British politics, which is ‘not turning up’ – first pioneered by the England’s defence in the 2010 World Cup.
Senior Liberal Democrats took the bold move to ignore the one policy they were meant to be standing for. A special friend of Tim Farron explained: ‘Tim would loved to have voted, but he was staying in for an evening of elderflower cocktails, a pedicure and a ‘Queer as Folk’ boxset’.
A party spokeswoman said: ‘Every time Vince votes for austerity, in the interests of fairness, he then votes against something that matters. All our voting is proportional to how much we care – which is not very much’.