The ubiquitous summer ruiners are to get a completely new image in a move that’s shocked the animal kingdom.
‘Up until now, they’ve always chosen to focus on the bad things,’ said Brian the wasp. ‘The stinging, the fondness for picnics, the fact we have no discernible place in the food chain. But we’ve got a lot of positives to offer as well. You could cast us as anorexic bees in a nature documentary, for example.’
Margaret Boyle, the campaigner whose initial idea sparked the PR shift, has come up with a range of pro-wasp slogans she intends to turn into bumper stickers and billboards. Some of the most popular so far include, ‘You never hear of anyone stepping in wasp shit’, ‘Poison-free since ‘83’’ and ‘Wasps. At least we’re not spiders’.
‘I really think wasps are overdue a comeback,’ said Margaret. ‘I keep them as pets myself and you’d be amazed just how sociable and affectionate they can be. It’s just like having lots of tiny black and yellow kittens that can fly.’
Wasps used to be revered as gods in certain ancient and stupid cultures but their reputation took a severe knock after a group of them were found attempting to groom children around an ice-cream van to get access to their lollipops. The challenge of reinventing the much-maligned creatures is being taken up by Max Clifford’s PR company, as they ‘fancied a break’ after the fall-out with their own boss.
SamSmith (hat-tip to jp1885)