Jodrell Bank loses cockney rhyming status to TSB

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Details of April’s TSB IT crisis are now coming into resolution: two million customers denied access to internet banking, losses of £176.4m and 26,000 migrated accounts.  On the bright side, every untested cloud has a silver lining which has come in the shape of a no-cost advertising and public awareness bankers’ bonus of being added to the Cockney Rhyming Slanguage replacing ‘Jodrell banker’.

Tom Hartley from Jodrell Bank explains:  ‘We’ve always had Grade 1 status as the definitive rhyming slang to describe a self-pleasurer, which isn’t as bad as it sounds; a memorable CRS association is important for securing funding as it elevates public recognition of the observatory, and we’re not averse to dipping a toe in the water should a new asteroid be discovered.’

Tom continued:  ‘Yes, we are very disappointed to lose the association to the TSB.  Being called ‘a proper Trustee’s Savings Banker’ doesn’t have the same ring to it, but you have to admit they’ve earned it.’

TSB declined to comment.

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Posted: Jul 30th, 2018 by

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