Prime Minister May is to hold ‘intimate talks’ with French President Emmanuel Macron, while being forced to choose between love, economic union or a Brexit dividend of at least £50,000. Subsequently the delectable duo will test their physical and mental ability – which does not bode well for Mrs May.
The private villa will be stocked with Brexit-themed goodies; like chlorinated chicken, 200 tins of spam and a big slice of humble pie. Throughout their stay, the leaders will be forced to ‘re-couple’ until one of them breaks down and cries out for WTO terms or a guest spot ITV’s ‘Take Me Out’.
The rules are simple, any nation can be eliminated via a public vote or a ‘dumb-ass referendum’ as it is known. Although from a romantic perspective, a post-Brexit Britain is more compatible with Medieval Estonia.
Both leaders will be constantly under video surveillance, courtesy of Rupert Murdoch. While the amorous event will culminate with Dani Dyer calling Theresa May ‘a twat!’.