A spokeswoman for Dame Sweary McSwearface challenged claims that she had used unparliamentary language with a work colleague, as ‘utter bollocks’. Leaping to her defence MP Ian Austin allegedly screamed, from the backbenches: ‘How dare the Labour Party question the integrity of Margaret Hodge, she’s an ‘effin Dame!’
An unapologetic Hodge took to Radio 4 to explain her position: ‘I told ***** Jeremy, in no uncertain terms, that he was a ****** and a ***** and he could stick his Peace Prize up his **** with a ******, a tub of KY jelly and one of his home-grown marrows’.
A staunch supporter of Tony Blair, Dame Margaret insisted that Labour’s left-wing could weaponize anti-Semitism in 45 minutes. When pressed about her dubious tax avoidance, her spokeswoman snapped: ‘0.01% of £2.1bn is f$cking plenty’.