The Football Association has announced plans to appeal the result of the 2018 World Cup on the sole ground that no ‘deal’ was reached.
The FA’s chief negotiator, Mr Andrew Andrews, has confirmed: ‘We do not recognise this news of an English defeat in the absence of a deal. The deal is what we were all playing for, which, as we see it, they needed more than we did. We did not fail to get a deal; they did. So we win. If you get me.’
Mr Andrews added: ‘The Dear Leader has graciously consented to consider a two-year transition period’ – a period during which, critics contend, government negotiators will fight ‘the same civil war over again’, and have already dubbed ‘The Great Sulk’.
Given the World Cup final was held on 15 July 2018, critics argue the FA has woken up rather late to this argument. Mr Andrews responded curtly: ‘It was not my idea to hold an election during the bloody tournament.’