An importer of French wines has declared an intention to ignore Brexit. He said today, ‘it will be bad for business,’ pointing to the fact that absolutely no progress had been made in Brexit negotiations. ‘The whole wine importing economy will be hit, along with cars, machinery, people and illegal immigrants,’ he added. ‘And we have absolutely no idea what American wine tariffs will be. It’s a complete leap in the dark. A jump off a cliff. People might be forced to drink local produce! I might even have to start selling Cider!’ he proclaimed, admitting that he actually did sell cider, and some Kent wines. ‘But to be fair, they’re shit,’ he added.
A government spokesman said, ‘once Brexit is sorted we’ll be alright. We can produce wine from kits, grow food in allotments and even import illegal immigrants, legally of course, and export any surplus to Australia, not that there will be any surplus. Or food, to be fair. But we’ll be in control, and that’s all that matters,’ he added.