An area manager for a leading British company was tragically killed today while running an idea up a flagpole to see who salutes. Mark Slickman, a brainstorming can-doer with a winning attitude, is believed to have been reaching for the top when he lost his footing. Police have parked the idea of foul play by putting it on a backburner going forward.
Tributes have flooded in. Junior employee Jane Henson said ‘He was such a great guy. He was always looking under toilet doors to see you weren’t doing number twos during works time. And he had this thing he did; holding his hand over a naked flame and showing no emotion while his flesh burned. He did the same to us. It was just SO funny.’
The tragedy highlights the growing problem of early death among corporate managers. The three leading causes of workplace injury in the City of London are:
1. Placing a hot idea on a backburner without safety gloves
2. Not looking where you’re going while singing from the same hymn sheet
3. Picking the low hanging fruit while downsourcing a paradigm shift
Funeral directors have been instructed to stuff Mr Slickman’s corpse in a bin bag, because he was a great fan of thinking outside the box.