A man who closed a Seattle airport by stealing a plane, which he later crashed, has been appointed as the new head of Brexit strategy due to his ‘forward thinking approach’.
The unnamed airline employee made an ‘unauthorised takeoff’ late on Friday, before flying around erratically and then crashing into an island. An almost perfect metaphor for Brexit.
‘The flight path apparently had no clear aim in mind, doubled back on itself several times, and ultimately ended in fiery destruction. All of which is an improvement on how our current Brexit work is going, so I offered him a job immediately.’ said Theresa May.
Experts suggest that somebody willing to steal a plane in a spur of the moment decision, do loops in it, and then slam it into the ground, is perfect for steering Britain out of the EU, and likely to come up with a much more coherent plan than the current government.
‘Assuming he survived the crash he can start work on Monday and I’m sure he’ll show us all a thing or two about forward planning and a coherent approach with a clear end goal in mind,’ continued Mrs May.
‘Although even if he died, which is entirely likely, he’ll still probably do a better job than me.’