Weeds take out a class action against Monsanto

Roundup

Weeds across the US have ‘lawyered up’ following the judgement that products made by Monsanto including Roundup could be dangerous. ‘My clients point to numerous studies that show exposure to Roundup can, in extreme cases, cause death,’ said one of the lawyers representing the weeds.

Monsanto point to the labelling on the product that effectively states weeds will cease to exist if sprayed by Roundup. ‘We think we’ve been pretty clear,’ claimed the company today. They have counter-sued the US government for failing to stop the ‘wholesale and barbaric butchering of weeds nationwide,’ pointing out they only make the product. ‘We don’t apply it ourselves, in fact we quite like weeds.’

The National Rifle Association has entered the debate suggesting that weeds should be encouraged to exercise their constitutional rights and arm themselves. They also suggest that homeowners should defend against such aggression from weeds by arming themselves. ‘If Roundup is taken off the shelves, then a .44 calibre dum dum bullet is the only effective defence,’ a NRA spokesman said today.

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Posted: Aug 14th, 2018 by

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