A spokesman for the Cannelloni family in Genoa, who we are legally obliged to say play absolutely no role in the running of the city, has apologised today for the collapse of the Morandi Bridge, which he blamed on a lack of police informants to reinforce the concrete.
“What can I tell ya? It was a slow time. People knew the score, ya know what I’m sayin’? Ain’t nobody dared go against us.”
As a result, the contractor claims he had to use ordinary, non-reinforced concrete, though as he was also a member of the family and only got the job because the Mayor wanted to see his wife and children again, it’s thought he may have cut corners and used Play-Doh instead.
The spokesman went on to say he hoped the family could help the city with its official report into the collapse, which he said could come out as soon as April next year “provided ya ain’t go no labour problems with the print unions. Be we can help ya take care a’ stuff like that…”