The Pope has agreed to fight every single one of Ireland’s paedophile priests in a one-of-a-kind boxing event exclusive to paid subscribers on You Tube.
The decision is seen by many as a knee-jerk response by the 81 year old Pontiff to a global scandal still enveloping the Catholic Church, with critics claiming he himself has not only helped cover up the myriad of institutional abuse but more tellingly that he steadfastly refuses to hold any of the known abusers to account.
Francis used a speech at Mass in Phoenix Park, Dublin to ‘ask forgiveness’ for the decades of abuse by clergy, but when the 500,000 strong crowd, angry at hearing the same old shit, began throwing sharp objects at him, he reluctantly announced he would engage with the perverts, predators and pederasts one by one. Or all at the same time, he wasn’t bothered, bring it on.
In the grand tradition of naming high-profile boxing matches, “The Bruiser for Abusers” is in its early stages of planning, with Durex the surprise favourite as the lead sponsor.
A spokesman for the Pope said, “His Holiness can’t think what puts young people off the Catholic Church. But hopes that by live-streaming him fighting a register of sex offenders, many of whom are in positions of authority within the church, that they would then be more motivated to join.
“How the church is viewed by outsiders is critically important to Pope Francis, but at the end of the day, his Holiness is very much a realist and knows that whatever he says, whatever he does, he is unlikely to reach the number of followers KSI or Logan Paul have.”
DGreen, Hat-Tip to Midfield Diamond