May unveils latex puppets in attempt to secure Brexit deal


In a last-gasp attempt to try and get some kind of Brexit deal with Europe, Theresa May has commissioned life-size latex puppets of Dr Liam Fox, Dominic Raab, Jeremy Hunt and herself to send to Brussels next week.

‘It’s no secret that the real versions have no credibility whatsoever throughout Europe, are thoroughly despised by all 27 remaining EU Leaders and have about as much ability to negotiate as a fractious child who’s having a particularly bad day and has had a bag of their favourite sweeties taken off them,’ said a Cabinet Office spokesman. ‘We though a more ‘fun’ version of the team might work … well if you’ve got a better idea, let’s hear it.’

Chief European negotiator Michel Barnier commented: ‘I’ve not had much time to observe these puppets yet, but I must admit on first glance they seem to be a massive improvement on the real life versions inasmuch as they haven’t suggested anything stupid yet and they definitely don’t seem likely to dance.’

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Posted: Sep 3rd, 2018 by

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