Evans leaves Radio 2 with 100% record of making everything about himself

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Chris Evans is to leave Radio 2 with his 100% record of having turned every conversation, interview, news link or debate into something about him. His final broadcast was an interview in which neuroscience expert Dr Rashid Zahaman attempted to explain how his research into pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis was helping to save millions of lives around the world but after 30 seconds Evans got tired of this and asked Dr Rashid if he had ever driven a £5m Supercar around an F1 race circuit during a thunderstorm.

Evans’ departure now means that millions of people – who for 13 years have not tuned in to Radio 2 for fear of being infected with the DJ’s relentless self-congratulation – can now retune. ‘For 13 years I’ve been tuning the radio to some irritating high pitched whining static that lies between the radio stations,’ said one relieved radio listener. ‘But at least you never got to hear about the invite-only event it attended last night or which Royal he went to dinner with.’

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Posted: Sep 4th, 2018 by

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