Aficionados of ‘piss’, ‘shit’ and ‘bollocks’ have expressed dismay at the recent downgrading of their favourite swear words. ‘What’s a bloke supposed to do?’ said Bill Allen, a builder from Manchester. ‘I don’t want to drop the F Bomb every time I hit my thumb with a hammer, but if I use a Grade 3 the boys will think I’ve gone soft. Please tell me they haven’t done anything to ‘wanker’. I’m planning a strongly-worded email to the Oxford Bloody English Dictionary, but I don’t know how far to go.’
The change was requested by the BBC, which has been struggling to keep CBBC ‘relevant’ within current broadcasting guidelines. It will also free up swearing capacity for some of Boris Johnson’s utterances, which are thought to be insulting, and possibly obscene, although nobody except Johnson himself, and possibly Stephen Fry, has a clue what they mean, the stupid cunting dickweasels.