lluminati admit mistake over Coleen Nolan and Loose Women


The Illuminati have admitted that the standard of conspiracy has slipped significantly, with many now saying that forcing Coleen Nolan into leaving Loose Women represents a nadir for the globalising hegemony. John X, their new head of corporate strategy, said at a hastily arranged press conference at their headquarters in the UN building, New York, that in better times they would have used Ms. Nolan as a Manchurian candidate to assassinate a wayward US senator.

Rather than try to influence daytime programming on ITV, they will get back to carrying out clandestine controlled demolitions of public buildings, passing the blame onto global terrorism. This is not the first time the Illuminati have lost direction, having previously taken a few years to come back to full power following an ill advised move into sub-contracted industrial asbestos removal in the 1980s.


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Posted: Sep 9th, 2018 by

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