‘First it was horse-meat; now this’, said disappointed customer, Chloe, while ravenously devouring a uniformly grey reconstituted kebab, ‘It’s really important to know about it.’ [read...]
At the prestigious awards ceremony held in Moscow, Novichok expressed its joy and pride at being awarded ‘nerve agent of the year’ for 2018.
‘I’m blown away, I really am,’ gushed Novichok. ‘The competition was so strong this year. [read...]
Following his capture of a burglar, Jamie Oliver revealed the incident has now inspired him to start a new campaign to introduce a better standard of food in Britain’s prisons. He told reporters: ‘It all came about when I was sitting on this guy’s head waiting for PC Plod to arrive. [read...]
The economy entered further turmoil this morning when career civil servant John Smith turned up to work, sat down at his desk, reached for his pen and discovered it wasn’t there. [read...]