The two men named as suspects in the poisoning of Sergei Skripal and his daughter have claimed that they only visited the UK as tourists but won’t be back anytime soon because Salisbury Cathedral was ‘shit’. [read...]
The plan, codenamed Caper Time, will involve driving red, white and blue minis to the European Central Bank in Milan, filling them with gold bars and making an escape.
An early suggestion to sabotage Milan’s traffic lights to cause chaos was replaced with a plan just to let Italians drive the way they do anyway. [read...]
‘I find it staggering that no pandas managed to adopt children last year – local authorities must stop delaying adoptions in an attempt to find a perfect species match.’ [read...]