Tory leadership contest to be settled by Latin epigrams


It is an ancient rite of theright. Any candidate for Leader of the Conservative Party can call for an Epigram contest to determine who should be the next Prime Minister. (Technically there is a further stage involving the electorate, but in the old rules this is considered an optional extra).

Either language can be chosen – Latin or Ancient Greek – it is understood that Boris Johnson has selected Latin to give Jacob Rees-Mogg a sporting chance.

“Well, he’s a fan of the Roman religion”, said Boris, before emitting a series of barks at passing vehicles. “Sorry, medication’s wearing off. Yes, Latin is young Jacob’s thing, and besides, Greek’s a bit vulgar, wouldn’t you say?”

Critics have described the process as ‘elitist’ and ‘exclusive’. Supporters of the process use exactly the same words, pointing out that these are the founding principles of the Conservative Party.

As the Conservative Party motto says: Quidquid latine dictum, altum videtur (Whatever is said in Latin seems profound)

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Posted: Sep 18th, 2018 by

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