‘Weight Watchers’ sinister rebrand – Just ‘Watchers’


The dieting company has decided to ditch ‘weight’ from their name, in order to corner the market in slim-line voyeurs and svelte stalkers. A spokeswoman explained: ‘We’ve struggled with the whole weight-loss element but really nailed the bit about watching, judging and making passive aggressive comments’.

The new name will be simply ‘WW’, although that has forced Jonathan Ross to step down as patron. Likewise they are currently being sued for copyright infringement by both second and first World Wars.

Participants will be encouraged to focus on staring at obese members, to intimidate them into dieting. For ‘watching’ to have its full impact, WW will be using binoculars, night vision goggles and Chris Packham.

Some dieters have noticed they are just one letter short of a wild life group or a wrestling federation; said the spokeswoman: ‘Which is ironic, because most of our Hulk Hogans want to become scrawny birds’.

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Posted: Sep 28th, 2018 by

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