In a cost cutting measure, the Conservative Party has decided to merge its annual conference with a collection of buffoons and not the usual Bullingdon Club ones. Instead, Theresa May will be sharing a platform with actual clowns and morons; partly because ‘Bozo’ is too busy writing for The Telegraph.
A spokesman for the Clown Union explained: ‘We did have some reservations that we might be seen as dishonouring our noble of tradition of pratfalls and custard pies; but after one look at Brexit negotiations, we realized these were our kind of people’.
Both groups will be looking for similar manifesto pledges such as buckets of cold water on the genitals, but only the Clowns will be offering a fully funded NHS. Where perhaps the two groups differ, is that the Clowns prefer to laugh with the voters, rather than laugh at them.
Said one Tory MP: ‘Conservative Clowns come in all shapes and sizes – although, I admit, the range of colours are somewhat limited. Of course, some like to hide in storm drains and bite the arms off of unsuspecting children – but that’s Jacob Rees Mogg for you.’