Following on from the success of refusing to take calls about lost property, all UK Police forces have extended the list of traditional tasks that they will no longer do. ‘Telling random members of the public the time is a complete and utter waste of police resources,’ one Chief Constable said today, ‘so henceforth we’re withdrawing wrist watches from all of our beat constables,’ he said, noting that both watches ‘should fetch a few quid on eBay.’ Beat officers are not so impressed as they now have to stop members of the public if they want to know the time.
Some police forces are keen to extend the process further. ‘We’re taking their radios off them too,’ said one Constabulary, ‘to stop them radioing in for assistance. They can bloody well cope on their own, that should save a few bob,’ a spokesman noted.
The move that triggered this is the analysis from one Constabulary that refusing to accept reports of lost property has saved them ‘300 police hours a year,’ while critics note that the same force spent over 400 hours last year explaining why they no longer take calls about lost property. Items found can still be taken to Police Stations, though, where they’ll be taken in eagerly, especially if they include wrist watches or walkie-talkie radios.