Boris to float ‘Canada bridge’ idea

Long Bridge

Former foreign secretary Boris Johnson is to announce plans to build a 3500 mile bridge between the UK and Canada once we leave the EU say sources.

The idea will be announced at a fringe meeting held by Brexit hardliners at the Tory Party conference later this week when Johnson will tell the invite-only audience ‘the 3500 mile bridge across the Atlantic would send out a positive message to the rest of the world, demonstrating that the UK is at last free of its EU shackles and ready to do business.’

‘Building a bridge between Canada and mainland Britain to facilitate a post Brexit free-trade deal would prove once and for all that fellow ministers and MPs still believed in forging a great Britain,’ enthuses Johnson

‘The entire span will be lined with trees and bushes incorporating public green spaces along the way, it will have a designated pedestrian and jogging lane, cyclists could use the bridge but will need to dismount. It would be open between 6am and midnight, closing overnight for essential repairs and maintenance,’ adds the feckless buffoon.

It’s understood that the £200m project has already received backing from luminaries such as Joanna Lumley and Thomas Heatherwick.

Constructin is to be funded by raising private money and charitable gift aid. ‘All we need is around £60m to get things started and we are away….that’s all we need’ said Johnson
‘He’s away all right….been spending too much time at the bottom of his garden’ said everyone else.

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Posted: Oct 3rd, 2018 by

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