A Government spokesperson said: ‘We were trying to figure out why people were objecting to us drilling into the earth and then shooting chemicals into the rock at high pressure to release volatile gasses underneath their homes with the very real threat of pollution, giant sink-holes and increased CO2 emissions. Then we realised: it’s the name.
‘Fracking sounds like a euphemism for sex used by people who will never have any.
‘We spent £500,000 on PR consultants to come up with a new brand, but then realised we could just put ‘Great British’ in front of pretty much anything and people will love it.
‘Look out for some Great British Earth Tremors and Great British Catastrophic Extinction-Level Climate Change in the future too.’
The spokesperson had no comment when asked about rumoured plans to involve Mary Berry and Mel and Sue in the project.