The World Chess Championships, held for the first time in Alabama in America’s deep south, became the subject of controversy when one of the white pieces called the police on the black ones, accusing them of threatening behaviour.
“First of all it was the pawns – they were all standing in a line, you know how they do, which always makes me nervous.
“Then suddenly a black knight jumped over the pawns and got right in my face. Well, he was actually six squares away with my own pawns between me and him, but I was still uncomfortable.”
The black knight was beaten to the ground by several cops for “moving in a suspicious way, two squares forward and one to the side”, despite his protestations that he was allowed to do that and no one ever complains when a white knight does it.
Responding to suggestions she was overreacting, the white queen insisted she had seen many white pieces taken by black ones in the past. “But of course the liberal media never talks about that, do they?”
Hoping to defuse tension, the black bishops suggested a meeting with the white ones to see if they couldn’t find some common ground. Unfortunately, it turned out that what looked like bishops from across the board were actually white pawns wearing pointy hoods.