Ventnor corner shop abandons one child policy


The ‘only one child at a time’ policy in Smythe’s corner shop in Leeson Road has been abandoned after 30 years in place. ‘Originally our one child policy was accused of being anti human rights,’ said Derek Smythe. ‘But our prosperity rose, especially where pick and mix was concerned, as a result of decreased pilferage.’

Mr Smythe cited a downturn in global trading conditions for the change of heart: ‘China’s slowdown has resulted in a growing threat to our economy, with the international trade in bulk foodstuffs becoming ever more competitive, resulting in a need for greater footfall. We have also been struck by parking restrictions in Trinity Road, the new Tesco Metro and the unexpected cancellation by Mr Smethurst of James Crescent of his regular order of Hefty Throbbers.’

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Posted: Oct 12th, 2018 by

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