Social media giant Facebook has confirmed unofficial reports that it only hired former Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg as Head of Global Operations in order to be able to blame him every time they have a system failure are absolutely correct. Clegg will be brought out to apologise in public for every breach of security by Russian hackers or if a Primary 3 class doing simple computer studies manages to wipe the private details of 50 million subscribers but not before having posted them online for the entire world to see.
Explaining the rationale behind the move, Brian O’Neil, Facebook’s HR Director told reporters: ‘This is a great strategic appointment for us. Nick Clegg is widely known to have been to blame for nearly everything since the time he sold British university students down the river to shamelessly further his own blind political ambitions. Man United’s terrible start to the season, the Strictly Curse, the Brexit Shambles and Little Mix…all Nick’s fault. Just remember, folks #NickCleggsFault. Brilliant!’