President Trump has announced that the US withdrawal from a 1987 nuclear weapons limitation treaty is simply part of an ’80s revival’ policy programme. The next steps will be the reintroduction of shoulder pads, Cyndi Lauper and the omnipresent threat of nuclear annhilation
‘Conservative social policies, big defence spending and extravagant use of hair dye – think of him as Ronald Reagan without the likeability,’ explained White House correspondent Sarah Jones.
‘I just love the 80s,’ said the President. ‘And I know you’re gonna love them too. Or I’ll have you deported. Now, where’s a map of Central America? I need to pick somewhere to invade.’