‘Why am I still here?’ asks Transport Secretary Chris Grayling

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Transport Secretary Chris Grayling stated openly in an interview with the BBC this afternoon:  ‘I really am so piss-poor at everything I do, so I really can’t understand why I haven’t been sacked from the cabinet.  Heaven knows I’ve tried hard enough, but I’m still here.  Why?’

‘I’ve supported weaselling homophobes; bannned books from prisons, ensured victims of domestic violence had to face their abusers in court and caused a meltdown in the rail network.  I’ve even knocked an innocent cyclist off his bike because I couldn’t be arsed to look before opening my car door.  The truth is I’m frigging useless at everything I do.  They openly call me ‘Failing Grayling’ at the cabinet meetings, but still she won’t sack me!’

If Mrs May finally relented and sacked him – so he can ‘explore other options’ – what would he do?  ‘Ideally I’d want a job without responsibility and where I could cause zero damage.  How does Brexit Secretrary sound?’

 

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Posted: Oct 25th, 2018 by

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