1922 committee ‘absolutely not’ swapping a bumbling performer for Hugh Grant

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Conservative party backbencher, Gerard St. Chioux MP explained:  ‘We’ve done the stats and the bottom line is: people love floppy haired toffs talking gibberish, and we’ve not got the poster boy on board to replace the PM.’

‘Hugh’s precisely the kind of charm-addled fop that could heal party divisions . But we’re not hiring him to revive his role as PM from the film, ‘Love Actually’ and be actual Prime Minister of the UK.  Not at all.’

‘And we’re not expecting to be holding a by-election the day after tomorrow, which Hugh won’t win and not be immediately voted in as deputy PM.  Then within hours, he’ll not be David from Love Actually taking selfies with Arlene, not be Daniel Cleaver being a rotter with the Europeans and certainly not be Mickey Blue Eyes being charming across the pond.’

Hugh’s response to not receiving the offer to be Prime Minister was characteristically astute:  ‘Golly! Aaah wow!  I’m frightfully… phew!  I’m lost for…. right, gosh!’

 

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Posted: Oct 26th, 2018 by

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